Pushing Daily Daisies

Emerson: I will pay the both of you not to have this conversation in front of me.
Chuck: It’s not in front of you, is it? It’s to the side and behind you.
Ned: Can’t ride in the front, Chuck.

Season 1, Episode 2

Chuck: I already lived a sheltered life once. But it wasn’t as sheltered as you think. Aunt Lily had a very extensive collection of historic erotica hidden in the milk cellar.

Season 1, Episode 2

Chuck: Well, I have a secret, too. I do miss my aunts and if I can’t have them back, then all I have is you. Which is great, but I don’t know anything about you since you were nine.
Ned: It’s pretty much I bake pies and wake the dead. I live a very sheltered life.

Season 1, Episode 2

pushingdailydaisies:

Daily Daisy

Ned: I hate secrets, too.

Chuck: Wh- you love secrets! You want to marry secrets and have little half-secret, half-human babies. 

Season 1, Episode 2

Janine: It’s easier if I show you. Follow me.
Chuck: Shotgun!
Ned: Chuck!
Chuck: I hate the back.
Ned: Dead. Again. Forever.
Chuck: Fine.

Season 1, Episode 2

Chuck: Have you ever heard of the Dandy Lion car company?
Rick Page: Nope. You wanna open the kimono on why I’m wearing a silver leotard and hanging from a hook?

Season 1, Episode 2

Chuck: We haven’t seen each other in, like, 20 years. Don’t you want to know about me? I want to know everything about you.
Ned: Look, we’ve all done things we’re not proud of. We all have secrets.
Chuck: What secrets? (Emerson walks up.)
Emerson: Skeletons in the closet.
Ned: Exactly. How long have you been listening?
Emerson: There are skeletons in the closet.

Season 1, Episode 2

Chuck: What do you know about Emerson, besides he privately investigates?
Ned: What is so great about knowing? When you lift up a rock, do you find whipped cream? No, you find worms. I say ‘no’ to knowing.

Season 1, Episode 2

(Emerson whips out a security card.)
Ned: Where’d you get that?
Emerson: Contacted the company that makes these doors under false pretenses  They gave me a sample ID badge which I digitally altered using the magnetic code that matches the serial number of this machine. Is that cheating?
Chuck: I don’t know. Is this? (She pulls out a security card.) I gave the security guard a hug goodbye. My upper body distracted him while these things I call ‘hands’ took this off his belt.

Season 1, Episode 2

Ned: Chuck found the clue.
Chuck: I found the clue.
Emerson: Clue is a board game. ‘Professor did it in the parlor with a rubber mallet.’ That’s a clue. We find evidence.

Season 1, Episode 2